Want to Quit Your Job? Here Are 10 Surefire Ways to Get Fired


If you have a job and you’ve been thinking of ways to quit, think again. Why quit when you can get fired? Here are 10 Surefire ways to get fired.

Being a Big Fat Liar

Be honest from the start. You’re accountable for everything on your resume. If you choose to embellish, remember that you might end up back at your mom’s place. Hold off on moving out for now.

Broadcasting Your Job Search to the World

Avoid sending your resume and other job-related emails from your work computer is important when job searching. Many workplaces monitor these communications, and your colleagues may also have access. Treat your workplace like it’s under surveillance, and be cautious about what you do. Stay smart and avoid unnecessary risks.


You never know who is listening, and in Cube-land, walls have eavesdropping ears. It’s best to play it safe and keep the juicy gossip to yourself. Don’t ever repeat anything you hear that could burn you or others. Winding up on the wrong side of the rumor mill can cost you more than somebody’s trust; it can grind your whole career into pixie sticks.

Chatting It Up On Personal Calls

Spending much of your work time conducting your business can be productive, but trust and believe your boss and employees are scowling at you in contempt. Better WRAP IT UP B!

Sippin’ On That Syrup

If you enjoy keeping things interesting, here’s a suggestion: have a few ‘cold ones’ during your break (like 6 or 7), and then strike up a conversation with your boss in a crowded elevator about why you hate working weekends and how you could run the office better than him. While your colleagues might find it amusing and somewhat satisfying, I assure you that at least one person won’t laugh.

Surfing the Web Excessively

If you spend your workday surfing the web, you’ll probably spend your days surfing for a new job. Clicking on NSFW content can also lead to losing your job. Say goodbye to those dreams of world domination during work hours.

Romancing the Boss

While it may make for great workplace gossip, a romance with the boss (albeit empowering) can easily and most assuredly end with at least one person out of a job. And to be frank, it’s usually not the boss.

Forgetting to Double-Check, Forgetting to Double-Check

When dealing with numbers, especially those preceded by a dollar sign, scrutinize your work meticulously. One stray zero, decimal point, comma, or dash could be the difference between securing a job or losing one.

Alienating Your Coworkers

You’ll probably need a little cooperation and support from your team or coworkers to do your job effectively. Distancing yourself from those you work with could replace you with someone who wants to keep their job.

Not Self-Assessing / Being a Punk Assessor

OWN your job assignment. If you make a mistake, own up to it. Don’t try to sweep crap under a rug because it still stinks. Refrain from being a punk assessor and playing the blame game. The truth will most likely come back to bite you in the assignment. No dry snitching, chump!


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