Our Top 5 Favorite Parent Quotes from Our Childhoods


Parents used to say the wildest things and so we’ve put together a short list of parent quotes that were as clever as they were utterly meaningless. Enjoy.

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Do as I say, not as I do.

Parents used this asinine logic to force us into ignoring their (let’s just call it what it is) hypocrisy and behaving as model citizens in their tyrant-ruled world of early bedtimes and no juice with dinner. The household where yelling your name was a language all of its own, where cleaning your room was (like) the worst punishment, and where making your bed didn’t make sense when you were just gonna get back in it.

I brought you into this world, and I’ll take you out.

The idea of your loving, nurturing mother/father unleashing enough fury to literally separate your soul from your body was terrifying. Parents struck fear into the hearts of young children everywhere with this line. It would eventually evolve into a way for your mom and dad to embarrass you in front of all your friends and family. Punking your kids in front of guests, let alone other parents is like a parental right of passage. You get brownie points for that stuff. We won’t speak on the man who brought fame to this quote.

Shut the front door! You’re lettin’ all my cold air out!

Yes, we get it. Don’t let the outside air in or the inside air out. The airs must remain separate. The air-keepers are frugal with their oxygen. Wasting it comes at a very steep price.

If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?

Your parents say this when they are trying to prove that their child is a brainless pawn — a clone of one of the dumbest kinds of kids: the bridge jumper. Like, seriously, who would follow ANYONE off a bridge, Mom?!

I love you more than you’ll ever know.

The fact of the matter is, a child will never know just how much their parents love them. They’ll have an idea if/when they become parents of their own, but no phrase by any parent has ever held more true than this one about love.

Parent’s can be funny and parents can be annoying, yet they are the gatekeepers to the future. They cultivate some of the world’s most powerful and gifted minds with the responsibility to handle with care. What they say is a gift that should be proudly paid forward to the next generation. Cheers to parents everywhere!


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